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Joke of the Day

"How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp? Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining."

"I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging Ever since then, my muggings have been a lot more successful!"

"With Fifty Shades of Grey that came out today, cinemas should serve ketchup... ...for all the fish fingers"

"[RACIST] The Parrot A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. ""Wow,"" says the bartender. ""That is really something. Where'd you get it?"" ""Africa,"" says the parrot."

"It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look!"

"I like reserving tables at restaurants using unique names so I can hear the hostess announce, ""Optimus Prime? Your table for 5 is ready!"""

"Fine. I'll rush you to the hospital, but then we're doing what I want."

"[Jack Black's birthday] Oh wow..ANOTHER rock polisher, thanks grandma. ""How is Rock School going dear?"" It's School of ro- *sigh* nevermind."

"Why can't T-Rex's Hi-Five each other? Because they are dead."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because this joke was so bad, even Dane Cook wouldn't steal it."