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Joke of the Day

"[Ouija Board] ""Oh great spirits tell me ur secrets"" You'll die soon ""OMG HOW"" Hold on I have another call"

"""Single and ready to Pringle."" - my Friday nights :("

"Martin Luther King Day White's Sale."

"Did you hear the one about the dad that said son if you keep masturbating you'll go blind! The son said dad I'm over here."

"My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it."

"Why do Tajikistani people wear trucker hats? Cuz they're from Douche-anbe!"

"Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second hand shop!"

"If trump gets elected can we make a show similar to the apprentice but when Trump says ""your fired"" he sends a nuclear missile at a country."

"Mike Tyson's biggest problem was he never had a strong male role model growing up. Mike's dad walked out on the family very early on, after Mike raped him."

"I went on a date with a girl who was born without feet. I forgot my wallet and asked if she could foot the bill. There was no second date."