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Joke of the Day

"I just posted ""How do I find answers using Google.com?"" on Yahoo Answers. Stand by while the internet divides itself by zero."

"My three year old just looked up at me and clear as day said, ""I'm sick of this shit."" And all I could do was nod because he is so right."

"How do you make a hormone? Kick her in the crotch."

"What's the difference between a hammer and a mallet? I don't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother's a whore."

"What do you call the ultimate fish doctor? The Sturgeon General"

"""Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"" -a very curious play goer."

"Short seal joke A baby seal walks into a club"

"My signature sex move is flirting like a pornstar then getting awkward as fcuk once it looks like something could actually happen."

"My career as a professional rock climber is going great, but I'm also taking a course in mattress-making. Just so I've got something to fall back on."

"Whenever I stub my toe I automatically blame and hate the next person I see."