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Joke of the Day

"My career as a professional rock climber is going great, but I'm also taking a course in mattress-making. Just so I've got something to fall back on."

"If software developers made cars They would cost $500, get 200 miles per gallon, and once a year would explode. Killing everyone inside."

"How can you tell if a Mobile software developer isn't enjoying his job? He isn't very App-y"

"I am happy to report this vodka works."

"What did the proctologist say to the pirate? Show me your booty."

"What's worse than a dead muskrat under your piano? A diseased beaver on your organ."

"An Englishman, a Scotsman, and a rabbi walk into a bar And the rabbi says, ""Hey, wait a minute... I think I'm in the wrong joke."""

"Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen? Because the thief was spending less than his wife."

"Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown? He was looking for Finger Prince. (Say it out loud if you don't get it.)"

"Marriage equality AND marijuana laws passed? Now we know what Leviticus really meant by ""A man who layeth with another man must be stoned."""