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Joke of the Day

"My signature sex move is flirting like a pornstar then getting awkward as fcuk once it looks like something could actually happen."

"I tried clicking on the 'NEW' tab... It just said 'Nothing to see here'."

"What's the best part about sleeping with twenty five year olds? There's twenty of them."

"What do the Seattle Seahawks and school in July have in common? No class."

"I've read all of Charles Dickens's novels except one. I don't have *Great Expectations*."

"My dog ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles and now I gotta follow him around the yard because it's his turn"

"What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws? Outlaws are wanted"

"hate when people walk in on me naked! What's this world coming to when u can't get a moment to yourself at toy r us?"

"Why did the dentist vote for Trump? He likes to keep things white and straight."

"Crack babies are really sad but meth babies are super productive."