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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Irishman who slept out on the lawn all night? Patty-O`Furniture"

"Before I go to the airport I'm going to swallow a Hot Wheels car & an action figure. Then when they scan me I'm going to act like Godzilla."

"What do women in the Middle East and Millennials have in common? If they go to college, they'll probably get stoned."

"Doubt this is welcome in /r/ShowerThoughts but thought of it there. How many rascist Drink names can we collectively think of? I'll edit the best ones into this post. Mine was ""*White Power*-ade""."

"What is a penguin? A swallow who ate after 6pm."

"Hell is nothing but a bunch of moms asking for help with their laptops."

"Wuts 9+10 Twenny wun"

"I put on real clothes today. What more can my boss want from me?"

"BREAKING NEWS ON FACEBOOK! Pam wants everyone to know what a great husband Don has been these last 8 years & for making her so very happy!"

"My mum made an accidental physics joke today. Me: What did you do today? Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done."