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Joke of the Day

"What do women in the Middle East and Millennials have in common? If they go to college, they'll probably get stoned."

"""And how's yer wife Pat?"" ""Sure she do be awful sick."" ""Is ut dangerous she is?"" ""No she's too weak t' be dangerous anymore!"""

"Han: Leave us alone, you fat slug! Jabba: *speaks Huttese* C-3PO: The mighty Jabbs says your words are hurtful. He has a thyroid problem."

"How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says ""lather rinse repeat."""

"IF you feel cold if you ever get cold just stand in a corner for a bit. they are usually around 90 degrees."

"starbucks is like a hooker... one on every corner and money upfront before they scream your name"

"What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake? Stop crying and viper your nose."

"Ugh man, I hate when pornos try to have a story. Don't act all surprised dude, just do her."

"""You can't build your own man."" They told me. But they underestimate my low standards. And my shopping cart full of luncheon meats."

"Why do turkeys always gobble? They haven't been taught good table manners!"