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Joke of the Day

"Guess what I'm going to do if I get Alzheimer's?"

"If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!"

"Three politicians go to heaven. No, seriously, it could happen."

"What I learned from watching Star Trek: Nothing. I've never watched Star Trek. I am popular with friends. We don't do that."

"Dating is like a See-saw Not very fun when one of you is fat."

"So, would you ever tell anybody if you woke naked in the middle of the woods, hung over with a sore ass? Wanna go camping?"

"I don't like to brag about my cat-like reflexes. That said, could someone please call for help? I got startled and am stuck in a tree."

"99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs. Take one down, patch it around... 127 little bugs in the code."

"I like my reddit jokes like I like my coffee... Dark and tasteless."

"I kinda want one of those priest collar thingys. If it gets me through airport security fast AND keeps kids away from me. I'm in."