168088

Joke of the Day

"Dating is like a See-saw Not very fun when one of you is fat."

"What kind of cereal do you find in a haunted house? Cinnamon Ghost Crunch"

"How do you pleasure a capitalist? An invisible handjob."

"[holding an acorn] ""do you still love me?"" Wife yells outside- ""that's not even the same squirrel as yesterday!"" ""Shaddup you!"""

"What is a Stealth Bomber's favourite Banana in Pajamas? B-2"

"How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but don't ask me how they got in there"

"I said to this bloke,""I'm going to be performing in the play *Hamlet* at a local theatre."" He said,""Are you being facetious?"" I said,""No- Polonius."""

"40% of divorces stem from $ issues. 40% are caused by infidelity. The remaining 20% have been linked to IKEA purchases requiring assembly."

"There once was ... There once was a fellow named Wes, who tried to make his comments the best, although sometimes he missed, he never expected to get dissed, but some redditors downvoted nonetheless."

"It takes a long time to delete 900 million dollars worth of stuff from an Amazon shopping cart."