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Joke of the Day

"I like my reddit jokes like I like my coffee... Dark and tasteless."

"CAT HOSPITAL Q: Why did the cat go to the hospital? A: To have a CAT scan done."

"What do a crematorium and an auditorium have in common? It's apparently frowned upon to jerk off in either."

"So I went to the doctor's office today. He tells me I need to stop masturbating. I ask him why, is my heart to weak, or something? He says ""no, im trying to examine you.."

"What do you call the queue of Software Engineers standing outside Heaven ? The Y2K deadline !"

"Today I really missed my Ex I think I need a better scope."

"My friend told me he was terrified of pedophiles... I told him to grow up."

"A Segway segway Oh hey, speaking of Segways...."

"The bathroom is the best room in the world... People expect shit-all of you there"

"A man walks in his bedroom with a pig... under his arm. He says: ""I fucked this she-swine for 10 years"" His wife, shocked, yells: ""What?"" The man replies: ""Shut up, I was talking to the pig."""