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Joke of the Day

"I don't like to brag about my cat-like reflexes. That said, could someone please call for help? I got startled and am stuck in a tree."

Next Joke
 
"The teacher asks little Timmy why he brought his cat into school... and he replied, "" My daddy said to my mommy he's going to eat that pussy tonight!"""
"What do you call a homeless man? A Hobo Sapien."
"[spelling bee] -your word is 'amnesia' -can you use it a sentence, please? -your word is 'amnesia'"
"The first rule of winter sex The one who has a running nose has to be under the other."
"I complained to my wife that I was short staffed at work She responded ""yeah, and you have the same problem at home"""
"swallow..."
"Canadians are not always nice, especially if your son pisses on their snowman."
"When John Wayne died, he had 40 pounds of fecal matter in his intestines. It sounds like a lot of shit, but it's true."
"What type of doctor did Batman visit after Bane broke his back? A Chiroptopracter."