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Joke of the Day

"Date tip: buy a calendar"

"Q: What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A: They have the same middle name!"

"What is the difference between a symphonic orchestra and a bull? The bull has its horns in the front and the asshole in the back!"

"Why does the farmer hate his job? because he has a deep-seeded hatred for planting."

"What nickname did the police give to the new blonde woman police officer? A fair cop."

"What did the snake say to the cornered rat ? Hiss is the end of the line for you !"

"[funeral] ME: I never know what to say at these things. WIDOW: sorry for your loss. ME: it's ok, I'm sure I'll think of something."

"""FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE"": BECAUSE YELLING, ""YOU SHOULD REALLY SIGNAL BEFORE YOU CHANGE LANES"" IS A TAD VERBOSE"

"Being rich is like being pregnant Everyone is happy for you, but no one asks how many times you were screwed to get there."

"I spent 8 hours on my Math book yesterday Gotta admit , i slept pretty peacefully"