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Joke of the Day

"Being rich is like being pregnant Everyone is happy for you, but no one asks how many times you were screwed to get there."

"An old gambling buddy told me this joke: What did the man with premature ejaculation say to his blind wife? ""Honey, could you pass me the remote?"" Bet you didn't see THAT coming!"

"What's a difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs"

"The only drinking problem I have is not having enough money to keep buying it."

"TIL there's a subreddit dedicated to all the times an OP doesn't deliver Link in the comments"

"I wish this cop would stop riding my ass, it makes me paranoid. I also wish he'd turn his sirens off and stop trying to shoot out my tires."

"Volkswagen How many Jews Can you fit in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 6 million in the ashtray"

"The guy next door just put up his Christmas lights... I bet he's pissed because I beat him, I put mine up 5 years ago.."

"why are flies the biggest troll? they only live for three days, and spend it fucking with you"

"So a hydraulic jack walks into his family reunion. . . and says look at all these Pump kins!"