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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A: They have the same middle name!"

"*tries to flirt* *twirls hair in fingers* *fingers get caught in giant knot* *learns to live using only one arm*"

"what sign on your phone does a dog hate the most The pound sign."

"Did you know that protons have mass? >Yes Well I didn't even know they were Catholic!"

"Guy walks into library and asks the librarian... ""do you have the book for men with a small penis?"" She replies ""I don't know if it's in yet"" ""yeah, that's the one """

"Two guys walk into a bar.... ...the third ducked."

"Everyone in my family is quite wealthy and successful... ...but I hate following the crowd, so I decided to become a panhandler instead. I beg to differ."

"Dear guy who invented taking pictures of yourself in a mirror with a cell phone: Do you see what you've done? I hope you're happy."

"There used to be 9 planets, just like there used to be 9 members of Wu-Tang, but then ODB died so they had to kick Pluto out of the group."

"What do you call an alligator that starts something? An insti-GATOR!"