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Joke of the Day

"""FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE"": BECAUSE YELLING, ""YOU SHOULD REALLY SIGNAL BEFORE YOU CHANGE LANES"" IS A TAD VERBOSE"

"Why did the Catholic cross herself?"

"How do you know if an Asian broke into your house? Your math homework's done, your computer is upgraded, and that little shit is still trying to back out of your driveway."

"my friend put me in charge of picking up the wedding cake today LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL RIP CAKE"

"What did the lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend? ""See ya next month!"""

"Sleep deprivation- because sometimes you cant afford drugs or alcohol but still want to feel delusional and irrational."

"What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed? Yes! But we cantaloupe."

"I've had blue balls for a week. I need to stop dipping them in ink."

"I hate the French They give me the Crepes"

"What do me and Mariah Carey have in common? Neither of us know the words to any of her songs"