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Joke of the Day

"I go in bars in a suit & tie, drink all night & write tweets down in a notebook. They're not quite sure if I'm the district manager or not."

"What do you call a horny square? Erectangle"

"My brother and I laugh at how Competitive we were as kids. But I laugh more."

"Cop cars should play the jaws theme song"

"What does a sailor use to clean his clothes? Tide"

"I hate when someone makes the comment ""he says what we're all thinking"" when he obviously said nothing about sexy lesbians."

"I took part in an erection competition over the weekend I made it to the semi's"

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? well.... I can't jelly my dick up your ass."

"I like my women like I like my wine... 12 years old and in the cellar"

"If i cut off my right butt cheek will i be left behind?"