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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? well.... I can't jelly my dick up your ass."

"My girlfriend asked me to stop playing mind games. I looked confused and asked, ""Who are you again?"""

"In Soviet Russia, Crimea River."

"I had a weird dream last night that I was eating huge marshmallows! I woke up this morning wanting smore!"

"In Canada, she's Kilometery Cyrus."

"When kids don't want to take a nap, can they be charged with resisting a rest?"

"A man walks into a bar... He says ""Ow"""

"I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night He hypnotised 7 blokes then dropped the microphone on his foot and said 'fuck me!' What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life"

"What happens when two lesbians build a house? It's all tongue and groove, and no stud inside."

"Q: How do you take census in a Polish village? A: Roll a quarter down the street count the legs divide by two and subtract one for the Jew who catches it."