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Joke of the Day

"I hate when someone makes the comment ""he says what we're all thinking"" when he obviously said nothing about sexy lesbians."

"What did the left bum check say to the right bum check? He said ""If we stick together, we can stop this shit."""

"Yo mamas so fat it took me a bus and two trains just to get on her good side."

"Two fish are in a tank One turns to the other and asks, ""Do you know how to drive this?"""

"I don't know what a foliant is but woman sure love things that used to be them."

"Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? It was rated R."

"Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash. Mind if we shared a cab home?"

"Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, ""Boy it sure is hot in here!"" the other muffin says, ""HOLY SHIT! A talking muffin!!"""

"Instead of the standard 140, people should only be allowed as many characters as they have IQ points."

"Last time I got some ass My finger went through the toilet paper"