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Joke of the Day

"""Dad, I cant sleep."" Dad: [enters chugging a Monster] SLEEP IS DEAD. GET A JOB. ""Dad Im seven-"" Dad: SO WERE THE DWARVES BUT THEY HAD JOBS."

Next Joke
 
"Why was the little boy unhappy? Because he had a frog stapled to his face"
"People say I'm crazy because I don't enjoy spooning girls I much prefer knifing them."
"Do you know what's really tiring../? ... being awake."
"What did one orphan say to the other? Robin get in the Bat mobile."
"I rented some heavy lifting equipment in Kiev from a company called You Crane."
"Doctor doctor I've got a little sty. Then you'd better buy a little pig."
"A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room. - Do I have any choice here he asks a sergeant. - Yes you do. You may eat it or not."
"GOP Congressmen are ripping the Obamacare website for not working for people that need it. Now they know how we feel about GOP Congressmen."
"Japan Q : What do people in Japan call fat people ? A: ""Double Buddha"""