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Joke of the Day

"A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room. - Do I have any choice here he asks a sergeant. - Yes you do. You may eat it or not."

"""Daddy, am I going to die someday?"" ""No, you're the only immortal being in the entire world. Goodnight, stupid."""

"Did you hear the one about the Seahawk who wouldn't stop talking? He kept beating a dead horse."

"""I've never flown before said the nervous old lady to the pilot. ""You will bring me down safely won't you? ""All I can say ma'am"" said the pilot ""is that I've never left anyone up there yet!"""

"Whats worse than being adopted Being adopted twice."

"I love my toilet. We've been through a lot of shit together."

"What do errant Jewish golfers shout? Three ninety eight!"

"(Dirty) joke from 14th century (or maybe even older) What is long and likes to pry in a hole? A key."

"I was gonna take a selfie, but I just checked the mirror and I still have the same face."

"Oh so your boyfriend cheated on you? But how is every other man on this planet responsible for it?"