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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gay Eskimo ? I dunno, but he's the only one in my tribe..."

"Me texting friend: Hey! What's up? Buddy: *sends picture of ceiling* Me: I am so glad I didn't ask ""how's it hanging"""

"What do they call the work when Webster long cuts the grass? Emmanuel labor"

"All those political ads are very convincing. They convinced me to stop watching television."

"What do you call it when you get stuck into a shotgun wedding with a Czech? Checkmate!"

"ALIEN:*points at Chihuahua* whats that? ME: a dog ALIEN:*points at Husky* whats that? ME: dog ALIEN:*getting angry, points at Pug* whats THA"

"When a woman has tissues at her bedside, she has a cold. When a man has tissues at his bedside, he may have a cold."

"I'm such a slave to the man working on a Saturday night. A drunk slave but whatever. Atleast my e-mails to my boss are hilarious now."

"I can't go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes"

"Mom called to tell me she is qualified to be a yoga instructor... I think that's a bit of a stretch"