92338

Joke of the Day

"ALIEN:*points at Chihuahua* whats that? ME: a dog ALIEN:*points at Husky* whats that? ME: dog ALIEN:*getting angry, points at Pug* whats THA"

"trump: ban muslims jeb bush: i disagree. just like dad would. who used to be president ben carson: how did spongebob make fire underwater"

"What's the difference between awkward and awful? Awkward is finding your mom on Tinder, awful is matching with her"

"Why would a dead girl lie? Because she can't stand up."

"You know what they say? Once you go white, you'll rob the world of it's resources and murder indigenous peoples."

"I'd tell you a joke about statistics But the punchline is probably outside your range."

"Can't think of a good Halloween costume? Go as a failed abortion. You don't even have to dress up, you uncreative fuck"

"On a positive note, women with full hour glass figures don't have to wear watches."

"Taking my dog out in below zero weather brings one thought to mind. I should have gotten a cat."

"Guy: you've been a bad girl. Girl: yes baby, punish me. Guy: OK. *burns all her shoes*."