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Joke of the Day
"All those political ads are very convincing. They convinced me to stop watching television."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend accused me of cheating I told her she was starting to sound like my wife."
"My son doesn't like spicy food. To prevent him from eating his boogers, I pour drops of Tobasco in his nostrils while he sleeps. #winning"
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants. One's a crusty bus station while the other's a busty crustacean."
"Women dressed head to toe in animal print just bumped into me, thought I was being attacked my an obese leopard."
"I want to follow you back, really, I do. But the hash tags. My god the hash tags."
"Why did Hillary go to the gynecologist? She was feelin' the Bern!"
"Alcohol is photoshop for real life."
"Mozart took a young wife, as was common in the day. After a very brief first night together, he felt inspired to write a song. He called it Minute in A Minor."
"Why was the sand wet? Because the sea-weed"