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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new strain of bird flu? Chirpees... a canarial disease... un-tweetable."

"My family is very poor. If I don't wakeup with a boner on Christmas morning I won't have anything to play with."

"Did you hear Sea World is removing their Orca attraction? Whale it's about time!"

"me: how much per hour? babysitter: $15 me: okay here's $2.37 million see you in 18 years"

"When a man falls off a boat, you say, ""Man overboard!"" What do you say when a woman falls off a boat? ""Full speed ahead!"""

"When I manage a troupe of Eastern European acrobats... they're going to be called ""Czechs and Balances"", it's the only logical choice."

"The fact that your guy friends stop being funny after getting a girlfriend is proof enough that women are soul sucking banshees."

"Told by the driver of the bus we were on Driver: so you hear president obama is in the hospital right? Us: no we didnt Driver: he cant stop putin"

"What did the ghost say to the bee? Boo bee"

"How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know, they're all too busy complaining about this joke."