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Joke of the Day

"I suspect Elmer Fudd is an r/jokes mod, and I have evidence [wemoved]"

"My neighbor gave my kid a whistle today. He is survived by his wife Linda. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to my bail money fund."

"To anyone who says white people can't jump... You obviously haven't seen footage of 9/11."

"The human race won't go extinct when our blood turns into high fructose corn syrup Our demise will come when hummingbirds figure it out"

"I'm my biggest critic. I'm my strongest critic. I'm my tallest critic. I'm my prettiest critic. who's a good critic. yes you. whose a good c"

"I was in the world trade center and always wondered why planes get bigger and bigger as they get closer and closer. And than it hit me."

"People who say 45 minutes past the hour are the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 months old"

"What's the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork."

"Reports are in that Hugo Chjavez has died....hmmmmm Saddam Hussein Osama Bin Ladden Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Fidel Castro Hugo Chavez Not good times for my Fantasy Dictator League..."

"Where's the 'Alpha male' bint putting out a video that becomes famous for the line ""LEAVE JEREMY (Clarkson) ALONE!""?... In written form on every comment thread of every relative social media post."