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Joke of the Day

"What would you find on a German fire truck? Ladder-hosen"

"*text message* Cat: Slave, I'm missing a box. I had 2 & now I have 1. I blame the dogs. Find it. Me: but I'm at work. Cat: find it."

"A little boy comes running to his mother.. ""I went into the bathroom and the light came on without me touching anything!"" ""Oh you idiot, you've pissed in the fucking fridge again."""

"Someday I'd like to meet the tiny creature piloting Vin Diesel's body."

"I pulled a girl in a nightclub last night. She said ""What the fuck are you doing"" and walked back out."

"The Chinese language actually evolved from the English language... it all started off when one person whispered something to the next person, then he whispered it to someone else, and so on..."

"What do you say Everytime maths wants you to calculate value of his X Dear Maths, I'm sick & tired of finding your 'X' she's gone dude and don't ask 'Y'"

"Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, then cross back over? Because he's a dirty double crosser."

"I saw a man hitting on a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one!"

"'You never get anything right' complained the teacher. 'What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school ?' 'Well I want to be the weather girl on TV.'"