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Joke of the Day

"'You never get anything right' complained the teacher. 'What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school ?' 'Well I want to be the weather girl on TV.'"

"So I just found out those stick figures on the back of cars are not to keep track of how many pedestrians you've hit,i will be removing mine"

"What do you call a gay person in a wheelchair chair? Rollaids"

"A man collapses in a busy street. Someome from the crowd shouts ""Somebody call him an ambulance!"" Suddenly, another voice calls out ""You're an ambulance!"""

"It's about time we, as a sophisticated society, start getting birds to wear diapers."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh! Aaand I'm out"

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See you next month."

"My dad installed new LED bulbs in his home. I started seeing him in a new light after that."

"A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar... A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar. Immediately, the bartender walks up and says: ""Hey! You guys can hang out here...just don't try and start anything."""

"I think I'm psychic. Now now I know what you're thinking.."