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Joke of the Day

"Don't bite the hand that feeds you, But don't bite any other hands either because that is how diseases are spread."

"Just blew my nose so hard that it got down on one knee & proposed."

"What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather."

"What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another ? A parson to parson call !"

"What's the difference between iron-man and iron woman? one is a superhero and the other is a command."

"I was in denial until her wake... But then I saw her face... now I'm a bereaver"

"My girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down."

"""do you know why i pulled you ov.. are you.. pinocchio?"" yea, so what ""is that a hooker?"" uh.. nope, no *his nose hits the fuckin moon*"

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup ! Yes it's the rotting meat that attracts them !"

"Why did the pig quit running the the marathon? He had a problem with his hamstring."