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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the painting."

"my criminal record is only clean because of how fast i can run with my pants around my ankles."

"I bought some drugs from a shoe dealer They were unlaced, and I still got high as heel..."

"Why do people like office parties AND this joke? The punch line."

"What did Santa say when he had to travel through the desert? ""My chestnuts are roasting"""

"Growing up my girlfriend was called the human calculator... but that's just because 14 year old boys would have her do handstands so they could see her boobies."

"Cop: anything in your pockets that might hurt me? ""Nah"" *cop pulls out a pic of his ex GF and suspect* Cop: *wiping tears* I'm over it"

"My therapist asked me what I'd feel if I shot someone. ""Recoil"", I calmly answered."

"A little boy says, Dad,....... A little boy says, Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.' Son,' says the dad. That happens everywhere.'"

"Hey hot single dads; I wanna call you daddy too."