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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the painting."

"My girlfriend accidentally shoved a pair of glasses up my ass... Now my hindsight is 20/20"

"Scientists detected gravitational waves directly for the first time Your mom's gonna get half the Nobel prize."

"What's the name of Michael J Fox's dry-cleaner? Park and Sons. /Park en sons/ http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t57/Thomzilla/Fazed/michael_j_fox_shaken_not_stirred.gif"

"Mark Zuckerberg screwed over his class mates and best friend. Do you honestly think he cares about your opinion on the new Timeline layout?"

"What do you call a horny lightbulb? Illumi-naughty. ;)"

"Forgive me Twitter, for I have sinned. It has been four days since my last tweet. Because, you know... weed and Sudoku."

"What do you call a hobbit that looks good in pictures? Frodo-genic"

"A clean house is the sign of a broken computer."

"Then there was the time a cement truck collided with a paddy wagon. Twelve hardened criminals escaped."