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Joke of the Day

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception"

"Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile? A: Both are offensive and inaccurate."

"What do you get when you play country music backwards? You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back."

"My therapist cries ""Why me?"" for the full hour."

"What no running shoes and Neo-Nazis have in common? Both make Jews run faster! (Sorry, but as an agnostic Jew myself, I hope that it's okay for me to make this joke.)"

"I bet vampires just walk around saying how different things were in back the old days."

"My friend said his dog could retrieve a stick from 5 miles away. That just seems a little far fetched to me."

"If Batman gets to use a piece of Kryptonite against Superman, Superman should get to use a piece of Batman's parents. Fair is fair."

"Did you hear about that green and brown patterned toilet that exploded? It was a Camo-Khazi... FYI Khazi is British slang for a toilet, so now you know!"

"Do you like warts? No. Don't worry. They'll grow on you."