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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you play country music backwards? You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back."

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"Breaking news the FBI has found anti matter! They hooked Hillary Clinton up to a polygraph machine..."
"What do you call a spy who is into BDSM? James Bondage."
"Me: Hurry up kid. We're gonna be late for school 6 y/o daughter: *begins eating each Lucky Charms marshmallow individually*"
"I took biscuits with me on a date once. She called me a weirdo and said that biscuits was a stupid name for a cat."
"*On date* Her: hey, how are you? Me: yeah really g.. BRAIN: *interrupting* TELL HER THAT RAP ABOUT ANTS YOU MADE UP ON THE WAY HERE."
"[Crime scene] Detective: the victim was high af when he died.. you could say it was *takes off sunglasses* D: blunt force trauma"
"What do you call a disappointing white wine? Prosecc-oh..."
"Batman Begins Crossdressing #AddAWordRuinAMovie"
"TIL: To never trust a fart."
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