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Joke of the Day

"Do you like warts? No. Don't worry. They'll grow on you."

"This third bottle of wine has turned everything into a microphone."

"TIFU while trying to write a joke Ok so it wasn't today, it was 10 years ago."

"What's the Addams Family's favorite cocktail? Mortinis"

"Why are broken vibrators so rare? Because they are hard to come by."

"Why was the Spanish train the primary suspect? It had locomotive. (I'm not sorry)"

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six offender."

"I'm crap at telling jokes. I keep on punching up the fuck lines."

"[doorbell] ""Sir, do you believe Jesus died for your sins?"" ""No."" ""Why not?"" ""He died like 2000 years ago."" ""So?"" ""I'm 46. Do the math."""

"""It doesn't make any sense... but does it make a dollar?"", says the marketing manager."