57335

Joke of the Day

"Lady: How old's your son? Me: He's 3. Lady: Wow, he has great hand eye coordination. Me: You should see him play Grand Theft Auto, he sucks"

"When someone tries to hand me a baby, I say, ""No, thanks. I'm vegetarian."""

"What's the difference between a pregnant lady and a light bulb? You can unscrew the light bulb. - Steve Martin, ""My Blue Heaven"""

"i bet today is the most confusing day in harlem!"

"Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup? Um looks to me to be backstroke sir"

"This one time in High School I ate an entire roll of quarters Shit was so cash"

"What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor."

"A man walks into a bar... ... ouch."

"""Why is it that whenever there's two women in a profile pic the hot one is always someone else..?"""

"Life without geometry... is pointless"