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Joke of the Day

"I yelled ""STOP EATING CAT TURDS OR IT WILL HURT WHEN YOU POOP!"" & my dog stopped eating, so if you need a motivational speaker contact me"

"Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, still working on it."

"What is the most popular dating website in the south? Ancestry.com"

"What is the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before eating it."

"why was six afraid of seven? because seven beats his wife thoroughly and brutally in front of six"

"Doctor asked me for a semen, stool and urine sample. I said, ""Hell doc, I ain't got time for that! Can't I just leave my underwear?"""

"Dear People of The World, I don't mean to sound slutty but use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Proper Grammar."

"""My mom was a famous YouTuber."" ""How embarrassing."" - the future"

"Headed to a wedding and my guy friends told me to take pics of hot women for them. *selfies*"

"The tragedy of Jack & Jill is they went *up* the hill to get water. You get water from the *bottom* of a hill. Stupidity killed them."