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Joke of the Day

"[candy store] ME: I'd like to return this Tic Tac. CLERK: It looks partially eaten. ME: It's still in... CLERK: Don't ME: ...mint condition."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Doorbell technician."

"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND *holds up a cat*"

"Blonde joke... Blonde: What does IDK mean? Brunette: I don't know. Blonde: NOBODY DOES!!!"

"I was so bored earlier I made a belt out of watches. It was a complete waist of time."

"The news about Charlie Sheen having HIV is the only positive thing I have been reading in my Facebook timeline all week. No pun intended."

"I can do number tricks in my head They do cartwheels and handstands."

"<- sleeps well with others"

"Son, who is that German guy who keeps hiding things in our house? Alzheimer, granpa."

"I knew I was old when I opened internet explorer."