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Joke of the Day

"-Sir we found hot glue in her ears nose and mouth, seems she suffocated. -Well whoever did this must be pretty....crafty. -Go to hell sir."

"In high school, I presented a project on communism I thought I would get terrible marx for stalin but the teacher was pretty leninent."

"Did you hear about that guy who was in an accident and lost his left-side? Don't worry. He's all right now."

"I like my beef how I like my misbehaving teenagers... Grounded."

"Musing I've had: If a person has sex with sheep, do they need to wear a condomn?"

"Hitler Maybe Hitler was just a fitness trainer and he was helping all the Jews burn a few calories"

"Did you hear they finally published that book about clocks? It's about time."

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. *drops mic, gets beat by security*"

"My grandad keeps complaining about erectile dysfunction. He really needs to grow up."

"I don't understand the point of lap-dancing clubs. If I wanted a woman to take all my money and sexually frustrate me, I'd stay at home with the wife."