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Joke of the Day

"-Sir we found hot glue in her ears nose and mouth, seems she suffocated. -Well whoever did this must be pretty....crafty. -Go to hell sir."

"So my dog is named Lucky... and sometimes he escapes from our house, so we have to go get lucky. And sometimes it'll be dark out, we'll be up all night to get lucky."

"After clipping my toddler's fingernails for over 2 years, I think I could diffuse a bomb while riding a roller coaster."

"Bernie Sanders If I had a nickel for every time a redditor posted about something Bernie Sanders, I'd be the kind of person he is always smearing. A BILLIONAIRE!"

"Where did the little Japanese girl go when the little boy dropped by? Everywhere."

"A Spartan boy was ripped from his mother at seven and subjected to daily beatings My mother calls at 40+ to make sure that I'm still eating"

"There is no more cake. This is my suicide note."

"I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's okay, they know me there."

"So Mary and Joseph finally consummate the marriage Joe checks the sheets, turns to Mary and says, ""You really expect me to believe God broke your hymen?"""

"Asked an artist friend if he does nude portraits He charges by the pound"