52335

Joke of the Day

"My grandad keeps complaining about erectile dysfunction. He really needs to grow up."

"Wanted to buy a 17th century European castle but I'm baroque."

"A woman is suing Disney claiming that Frozen is based on her life. She sounds like a cold bitch."

"I'm addicted to ass. It's like crack to me."

"Why did the Cephalopod get coal for christmas? Because he was on the nautilust."

"I hop in a tanning bed during storms in the hopes of being struck by lightning & turned into a lame, but beautifully bronzed, superhero."

"Oh, your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes?"

"How do you kill a one legged fox? Have it run across Canada. (maybe only Canadians will get this)"

"How did King George view the colonists? He thought they were revolting"

"This morning I made the strongest coffee ever. It's so black a cop kicked in my door and shot it."