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Joke of the Day

"what idiot called it becoming a zombie and not waking up on the wrong side of the dead"

"Hey Southpaw, going to lunch? Of course, I also have the right ..."

"Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat."

"What did the shirt say to the pants zipper? Your so fly man"

"A box from IKEA came to my door, sent from this tourist girl I've been on two dates with. I don't think she understood when I said I wanted a one-night stand"

"When my father won't stop telling bad jokes... ... the puns go on Dad Nauseum!"

"Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading ""Hungry Hungry Hobo"". I shouldn't laugh right?"

"God: Hmm now where did I leave that fish? It couldn't possibly have grown legs and walked away Darwin: lol ur not gonna believe this"

"Before I go to bed, I like to take a bath and than listen to Single Ladies. Its my own Bed, Bath and Beyonce."

"A bug is just a bug until you put one on someone's face."