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Joke of the Day

"What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween? Happy halloweenie"

"I just solved all my problems I just pretented it wasn't happening, and I instantly felt better."

"I have a degree in men's studies. It's called ""world history"". #TRUMP 2016! YOU CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP!"

"Those of you who believe everything you read on the internet probably also believe there's hot local singles in your area."

"How do you catch a peculiar rabbit? Unique up on it."

"DR DOG: The test results came back. PATIENT: Oh God DR DOG: The tumor is-- *sees a squirrel out the window and takes off*"

"How many lazy people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Count for yourself..."

"CAPTAIN AMERICA: *punches guy* Take that villain CAPTAIN BRITAIN: *punches guy* Take that guvnor CAPTAIN CANADA: *punches guy* I am so sorry"

"That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet!"

"Verbs Without them we wouldn't get a lot done."