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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the sweat on the bodies of two people having sex in West Virginia? Relative Humidity"

"What makes an ideal present for a monster? Five pairs of gloves one for each hand."

"Money money money A jewish boy said to his father, ""Dad, can I borrow $50 dollars?"" His father replied, ""$40 dollars!? What do you need $30 dollars for!?"""

"Homeless people's dogs must think, ""Damn, this is the longest walk ever!"""

"Have you heard about the new movie, ""Constipation""? It hasn't come out yet."

"Did you hear about the movie based on an Australian dystopian future society? Apparently it's a cross between Idiocracy and Mad Max....it's called Bogan's Run..."

"It's fun to watch babies taste new things like ice cream, lemons, or 9-volt batteries."

"For a week I've been telling my kid ""If your cough isn't better tomorrow, you're going to the doctor!"" and it finally worked. (She died.)"

"a dog pisses on an ant... and the ant says ""hey watch it!"" and the dog says ""i don't have a watch"""

"I went to a pet shop to buy a goldfish today... The worker asked if I'd like an aquarium, but I told him ""I don't care what starsign it is."""