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Joke of the Day

"I went to a pet shop to buy a goldfish today... The worker asked if I'd like an aquarium, but I told him ""I don't care what starsign it is."""

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"Why is Columbus a slang term for cocaine in Native American communities? Because it's white and kills them."
"Why did Mary fall off the swing?... ... Because she had no arms. Knock, knock! (Who's there?) Well, it ain't Mary."
"*pulls curtain back while wife is in the shower* me: Are we - stop screaming, it's just me- are we out of Cheetos?"
"There are two penguins in a bathtub... One looked to the other and said, ""No Soap Radio"""
"I was thinking of becoming a railway conductor... Then I thought of all the training."
"What's a Republican Congressman's favorite movie? Kill Bill"
"What breaks when you give it to a toddler? Their hips."
"Your mom takes so much dicks that the word cocktail was invented for her"
"I love you."