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Joke of the Day

"What must a vampire ask before he has sex? Is it alright if I cum inside?"

"That awkward moment when you lean in to hug someone sexy and bump your head on the mirror."

"At the club, a 6'1"" girl was crying in my lap. I just kept petting her hair, pretending she was a sad giraffe. Win-win."

"Why don't arabs play monopoly with jews? Because jews constantly buy property over the arabs' already bought property"

"the ideal number of pillows should be on a bed is 6-10."

"Facial hair problems I have trouble growing facial hair, so I decided to get married so that I finally know what it's like to have a beard."

"What's the point of having nice tits if you're going to cover them up? Stop being so fucking greedy and unbutton your shirt like I do."

"What's the worst thing about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back seat of the oven."

"What is a Nuclear Physicist's favourite meal? Fission chips."

"It's not that I think I'm out of your league. Its more that I'm not even sure we're playing the same sport."