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Joke of the Day
"What's brown and sits on a piano bench? Beethoven's last movement."
Next Joke
"What's 18 inches long and never gets used? Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech."
"I met a famous American comedian on a White House tour I walked up to him, tapped him on the shoulder and said, ""Hey, I thought you retired in 2009?"""
"What is it called when a Roman gets really sick? Chicken Pox Romana"
"What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria? The food!"
"I just saw an 8 year old hipster. Your move, apocalypse."
"Why didn't Jesus start a charity? Cuz they're not for prophets."
"Another gorgeous fall morning I wish I was sleeping through."
"I hate when the cashier ask me "" You doing alright today "" when I'm buying a 6-pack of beer with change."
"You know you're getting fat when.. The clothes section you shop in has chairs spread out incase you get winded."