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Joke of the Day

"What's 18 inches long and never gets used? Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech."

"I entered a contest to win a set of really nice vegetable knives ...but no dice."

"A school finally decided it's ok to show their students a documentary about menstrual cycles. It was about bloody time."

"Dating a single mother.... It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game."

"Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup? Because one more bean would be too farty."

"Did you hear about the Leper going for the masturbation world record? Eventually he pulled it off!"

"When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, ""No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"""

"Fire alarms are dangerous and should not be in the house. Why? Because when it starts the house is on fire!"

"Budweiser is like sex on the beach... It's fucking close to water"

"404 jokes... I just can't find the humor in them."