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Joke of the Day

"I met a famous American comedian on a White House tour I walked up to him, tapped him on the shoulder and said, ""Hey, I thought you retired in 2009?"""

"Hey guys, I invented a new word! Plagiarism."

"Hey hot single dads; I wanna call you daddy too."

"[death row] Guard: alright tough guy one last meal Me: a cyanide pill Guard: what? no we want to kill you! Me: too bad Guard: aw man"

"Why did the horror fan switch off Cujo? Because he felt like IT"

"Space Cat: *furious as he knocks items off of a shelf and they just float in place, mocking him*"

"My son said, ""Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think, 'My life has been a complete failure.'?"" I said, ""Not unless you're standing behind me."""

"SUPER FUNNY NSA JOKE!!! [deleted]"

"Woman of my dreams My wife asked this morning, ""How come you don't wake up with an erection?"" I replied, ""Because you're the woman of my dreams."""

"Why do they call it Black Friday? Because it's the only day blacks can afford to go shopping"