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Joke of the Day

"What's the best drink for a dog? An old faschund."

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"Shaving your beard is a great way to remember what you looked like when you were 5."
"Why did the idiot stare at a carton of orange juice? It said 'concentrate' on it"
"Why is it possible for a door to be made out of kittens? Because they are a-door-able."
"My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding. She got mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again."
"I just saw a man pick up a screaming child and take her to his van. Man, kids are getting carried away these days."
"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of it's paws, a comma has a pause and the end of it's clause."
"How did the farmhand get a job at reddit? He put ""excellent reposter"" on his resume."
"Why are outdoor workers so in fit? Cause they work out."
"I just ate a silica salt packet and I've been using a plastic bag as a toy because I live life on the motherfucking edge."