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Joke of the Day

"The difference between Jam and Marmalade [NSFW] Q: What is the difference between jam and marmalade? A: I can't marmalade my dick down your throat."

"We have enough pictures of airplane wings now, people who travel. Thanks."

"I have a hardcore yeast affection. I love breads and doughs."

"It's been so hot lately, so I finally got a new AC... and i nicknamed it DIRK cuz it's so clutch against the heat."

"I never understood why vets... aren't called dogtors."

"You ever notice how many narcissistic pirates there are? Everyone I meet won't stop saying Aye!"

"Football player Michael Sam got picked up by the Cowboys... He's the first openly gay cowboy since Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain."

"[consoling grieving widow] so I guess you'll be looking for a new owner for his pokemon collection?"

"The obvious way to smuggle drugs past a drug sniffing dog would be to hide it in another dog's ass."

"Ever feel a little ""too"" relaxed? Is your day going ""pretty ok""? Are you enjoying doing a thing? Introducing ""Panic Attacks"" Panic AttacksTM"