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Joke of the Day

"I just saw a man pick up a screaming child and take her to his van. Man, kids are getting carried away these days."

"I liked Kim Jong-un better when he sang Gangnam Style."

"A farmer counted 196 cows in the pasture. But he rounded them up and had 200."

"You guys hear about the antique shop owner who liked to have anonymous sex with menstruating women? Nobody could tell which period his dick was from."

"Whats pink and always slippery? A pink slipper"

"There are 4 stages in life 1)You believe in Santa Claus 2)You don't believe in Santa Claus 3)You are Santa Claus 4)You look like Santa Claus"

"What do snakes use to build clocks? Metal Gears"

"Journalist asks a neo-nazi ""what do you have against foreigners?"" ""I have an axe"""

"Paraplegic Party you goin to the paraplegic party? I hear its gonna be crawling with pussy"

"The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies you'd almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."