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Joke of the Day

"How did the farmhand get a job at reddit? He put ""excellent reposter"" on his resume."

"If you put your right ear really close to your left knee and you listen... ...you can hear a voice say 'What the fuck are you doing?'"

"Sorry it took me 10 months to text you back. I'm a snake now and I typed this with my head."

"So I got banned from the DIY store. I was just looking for a vibrator."

"What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months? I think we should sea otter people."

"My neighbor is crazy. After playing some Justin Bieber at high volume at 7 o'clock this morning, he commited suicide by shooting himself 8 times in the back with my gun."

"Everyone is an atheist until you zip your fly up too quick Then its all Lord Jesus please help"

"I like my women like I like my cheese Aged."

"A corgi walks into a bar Bartender: what can I ge... Corgi: I'll have a jack and coke Bartender: why the short paws?"

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick up a girls ass."