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Joke of the Day

"I've invented a new sex position: the 114 I was 69ing with this girl wen her husband came home and shoved a 45 up my ass"

"""I'm constantly quoting myself. Like right now, for instance."" I just said that."

"The Lady Artist by Andrew Pictures"

"The kids were really suprised when I put ginger in their curry... ...they really *did* love that cat. > Stolen from a recent episode of *Match Of The Day*"

"Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask ""which country?"""

"Maybe she's born with zits, maybe it's methamphetamine"

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High Definition Edit:Woah, I got front page! Thanks guys!"

"I wish cartoons would have prepared me for working and doing taxes instead of, like, quicksand"

"I automatically HATE whoever ""declined to be interviewed for this documentary."""

"What do you call a lamington that weighs a lot? A lamingTON!"